How to Overcome Masturbation
1) Overcome masturbation addiction by knowing yourself
A constant need to masturbate may represent a lack of physical intimacy or affection in one’s life. So rather than addressing the masturbation itself, it may be helpful, as is the case with any ‘nervous habit’, to explore the areas in life that are lacking (of which excessive masturbation may be a symptom) and address these areas. We all have basic needs for:
- Safety and security in life
- The chance to give and receive quality attention
- Feeling connected to a community
- Feeling status and a sense of achievement
- Having purpose and goals
- Feeling intimate with another human being
- Feeling challenged so as to avoid boredom.
Meeting these needs in your life helps you avoid boredom and a sense of meaninglessness.
Of course, masturbation only provides a temporary ‘fix’ or escape. To really make your life more fulfilling, you need to address your real needs.
Take a long look at your life. Are some of the above needs not being met adequately? Could excessive masturbation be masking an unmet need?
2) Stop punishing yourself
Remember, you’re human. Humans make mistakes, and they have sexual urges. Neither of these things makes you a bad person. Resist the urge of sinking into despair by remembering the times spent feeling sorry for yourself when it could have been spent relinquishing your addiction.
3) Don’t be ‘all or nothing’ about it
You don’t have to ‘cure masturbation’, as some may even be healthy, but if you feel it takes up way too much of your time and focus then consciously start to set limits.
If you currently masturbate every day, then start cutting down by a day per fortnight. Literally begin to wean yourself from daily masturbation. Tell yourself: “Right, this week I am going to have a day off on Wednesday” (or whatever day you choose) and stick to it. Use this day or evening actively trying to meet a basic need that may have been neglected (i.e. phone a friend and make plans).
Notice what you do instead. But make that promise to yourself and no matter what that little part of your brain does to try to get you doing it – don’t! After two weeks, add another day off. Continue to do this until you are down to a level with which you feel comfortable.
If you break your own rules, then ‘make up the day’ by choosing another day of the week, but focus on the numbers. And don’t masturbate twice on one day because you missed it on another. Talking of numbers: there are only a certain number of hours in the day…
4) Stay busy; the devil makes work for idle hands
Unless we are truly deranged, we need private opportunity to masturbate. Fill your time with situations in which masturbation would end up as local newspaper material. Book up to see friends, go to church or visit the local library.
Teach your body not to expect masturbation so often. It will get the message then sooner than you think, it will feel more normal to do it less. Actively taking steps to fill up your time may also be a way of diminishing boredom or loneliness, which may have been contributing factors to the excessive masturbation in the first place.
5) Remove anything that tempts your urge to masturbate
Like access to pornographic materials etc. Also, if you notice you get the urge to masturbate at certain times of the day, try to keep busy with other things at those time. You could try exercising as this will give you a release and leave you too exhausted to do much else. If you masturbate frequently because you feel lonely, find ways to limit your solitude. For instance, instead of watching the match at home by yourself, watch it at a sports bar. Even if you’re not hanging out with friends, you will not be alone, ultimately having no time for masturbation.
Some masturbation can be healthy and harmless, but as the expression has it: “The greatest pleasure in life is self-control.”