All married couples everywhere fight. Period. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying or has never been in a relationship before. However, not all couples everywhere fight and remain madly in love with each other afterwards.
Why is this? What’s the difference? Numerous studies have been conducted and theories have been formed, but the real answer is simple. Unsuccessful marriages are a direct result of couples not pausing to ask themselves, “How many noodles are in spaghetti?”..
Yes, you read that right, and no this is not a joke. Though probably not the deeply intrinsic question you were expecting, read on because this one query is going to save your marriage. First off, don’t take a literal approach in trying to answer the previously mentioned question. You’ll only run into more questions like, “How big is the bag of pasta, what shape are the noodles, or what on earth does this have to do with mine and my spouse’s relationship?”.
Instead, look at the big picture of things. This will allow you to discover the question’s correct answer which is: IT DOESN’T MATTER!
These same three words are true of any pitfall in your relationship other than infidelity or abuse. Besides those two grotesque exceptions, it absolutely does not matter who did what, who said what, or whose fault it is. Spaghetti is still spaghetti regardless of how many noodles are in it. Likewise, a strong marriage can remain a strong marriage regardless of whatever superficial things try to tear it apart.
This doesn’t mean you should just sit on the sidelines and let issues go unresolved within your relationship. It’s vital that you and your loved one work things out together but do so with a “how many noodles are in spaghetti” perspective in mind knowing that you’ll still love each other no matter the outcome. It’s also important to remember that there are enough noodles in the spaghetti. But exactly how many noodles are there? Again, it doesn’t matter. There are enough to make it work just like there is enough love to make your marriage work, especially during those times when you and your spouse are fighting.
Fighting shows you feel your relationship is worth something to you and your spouse. Otherwise, you would both just walk away if neither of you thought there was a way to make things work. So, the next time you’re in a heated argument with your husband or wife try asking, “How many noodles are in spaghetti?” Like you, they’ll most likely be confused until you explain the principles behind this seemingly pointless inquiry.
Once you and your partner both understand this concept, you’ll feel empowered and will have greater control over your relationship. The bond between the two of you will become noticeably stronger, and you’ll gain a clearer focus of those things that really matter, as well as those that don’t.